Self-care is more than pampering yourself or finding more “me time.” While those can be important aspects of q good self-care resolution, there is a lot more to maintaining a healthy state than just a visit to the spa. For me, good self-care includes things like creating boundaries for my relationship with my spouse, not engaging in toxic relationships with friends, and going to therapy. This year, I’m working on improving my mindset, something that is a constant struggle for a bipolar mom like myself.

This self-care resolution of mine is one that I think all moms really need this year.

My Self-Care Resolution

I will be grateful every day without disregarding the negative that comes along, too.

It’s always frustrating for me to hear about practicing gratitude in ways that exclude the absolute necessity of processing the negative. If you’re only ever focusing on being grateful for the positives in your life, there is a good chance that you’re routinely sweeping any negatives right under the proverbial rug. Psychologically, that’s incredibly harmful.

Instead of only focusing on gratitude, allow yourself the space to acknowledge what really sucked that day.

Yup, the kids were at each other’s throats all day.

Yet again you’re guilt-tripped at work for needing to do some creative work-life juggling.

You and your partner are both sick at the same time because of course, you are.

Dealing with the crappy side of life is part of living life, so don’t try to make yourself pretend it isn’t happening. Or that it doesn’t royally suck. Rather, give yourself permission to process the emotions that go along with dealing with the negative. Then, take a deep breath and let go of the anger or irritation or frustration.


I visualize crumbling up my problems into dust in my hand, and then I blow it away. Once I’ve given myself the room to have those feelings and deal with them, I can focus on what I have to be grateful for. Sometimes that means being in awe of the family I’m creating, and sometimes that means being grateful my kids don’t glance at the clock when I try to sneak them into bed a half hour early.

An Easy Way to Practice Gratitude

While visualization helps me a lot with processing my emotions, I also do a lot of journaling. It’s a lot more natural for me to write about what I’m struggling with than what I’m happy about. So, when I’m looking for a new journal, I like to look for gratitude journals specifically. It helps me focus on the intent I’m hoping to achieve.

I’d love to hear how you practice gratitude without brushing your problems under the rug. How do you find your balance? What is your self-care resolution this year?

Published by Tiffany Barry

Tiffany Barry is a single mom of 4 who never really planned it out that way. Her writing about motherhood, family finances, parenting, and more has been featured on sites like Scary Mommy, Modern Mom, and

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  1. While I washing my hair earlier I literally thought about how much self care I was going to get this year. Self care is a top priority for me, and it should be for everyone else!

    1. That’s so funny that you were just thinking of it! Self-care is definitely so important.

  2. Self care is so important. We love taking a moment to care for ourselves at the gym.

  3. Wow, that was a great advice for bipolar moms or just any other normal moms. It was a really tough job being a mom, so you guys really need some self care.

    1. Thank you! I think all moms need good self-care because it is so difficult. For moms who also struggle with things like being bipolar, like me, being aware of where we’re at and what we need is so important.

  4. Every mom needs to take care of themselves and spend time every week taking time out from their kids and family just to take care of themselves.

    1. Yes, even if it’s doing things like eliminating friends who stir up unneeded drama or hiding in the bathroom for 5 extra minutes to just sit alone with your thoughts. Those moments, even when we’re crazy busy, can really add up to be a big positive impact.

  5. Self care is so important and I have this on top of my new year resolution list. Let 2019 be about positivity and self care!

  6. Self care is vital for your own mental health, it is so easy to put the family first though